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All the following is a tiny ant bite compared what has been going on around the country recently and if these are the worst things that happen to me in 2020 then I will be happy.
On Saturday January 10th, I was coming home from an afternoon of Rubber Bridge followed by dinner with Debbie and Leigh and Lauren and I hit a koala. Six weeks earlier I had dodged a kangaroo in the same location travelling about the same speed. This time there was a bit of traffic about and my headlights were on low beam and my vision was fixed on the centre lines (where the kangaroo had been sitting). I saw the koala when it was almost off the road and I didn't have time to react at all. So just when we can't afford losing any more animals, I get two remorseful, sleepless nights and a $500 insurance excess. At least I have now learned to slow down at night between Bonython Road and the railway line, particularly if I have the road to myself.
On the Monday, I played Bridge in the morning and spent the afternoon getting my car serviced and booked in to my favourite crash repairer. At the end of the day I organised my work platform and tools in preparation to using remaining mornings and evenings of the week to create a hedge from row of untidy bushes in the part of the "front" garden that is my responsibility.
Next morning I set my platform up and start my hedging. There is no hurry, I will fill my green bin several times before I finish. Everything is sweet, I won't need a my pruning saw: the hedge clippers and lopper will cut everything I need to cut. I get up and down a couple of times so no problems.
The weather is cool but the sun is starting to kick in so time to go inside to do some house work and I start to get down.
Yes, I know what my big mistake was: I didn't think about it enough - I have what I needed in my garden shed, a 1.8m hoe handle for use as a third leg. The bush was never going to be enough
I pick myself up, look around to make sure there are no witnesses to my idiocy, put my cutting tools away in the carport and go inside. In my bedroom I take my right gardening shoe off, then my left shoe noticing I have a wet sock. Then I make my next mistake: I take my sock off. It's sodden with blood.
I'm not particularly flexible on my left side so I can't twist and bend enough to see the outside part of my lower leg; but I can see the blood starting to flow so I head for the bathroom leaving a few drops on various mats along the way.
Foot in the bath, run a bit of water over my leg and it looks like the wound, which I still can't see, is going to need some assistance in clotting. I grab a gauze bandage out of my first aid kit and immediately drop it in the water. The blood flow is starting to look worrisome. I grab a hand towel and wrap it around my leg to no avail. Now I am starting to think I need assistance from someone who knows what they are doing.
Then the phone rings. I finish wrapping my leg in a bath sheet and head for my phone leaving actual bloody footprints by the time I get to phone. It's a lady from my dentist reminding me I have an appointment the following Tuesday. We exchange pleasantries - no we don't - I'm starting to panic! "I'll be there but now I need an ambulance."
I'm pretty sure this is the first time I have ever dialed 000. There is a gentleman on the other end and he keeps me calm and I sit in my office chair with my towelling wrapped leg up getting pressure on the wound with my right heel.
An ambulance crewed by a nice lady and gentleman came from Meadows and drew a very small crowd of my immediate neighbours. Then I had my first ride in an ambulance on a stretcher and spent the next four hours looking at ceilings. I knew I had been over-reacting when I was moved from an emergency room bed to what looked more like a doctor's consulting room (examination table against the wall) to make way for an actual emergency case.
The emergency room doctor looked after the real emergency cases and
then dressed my wounds, prescribed an antibiotic and referred me to Dr
Jones for X-ray and ultrasound examination and gave me the option seeing
my own doctor or him.
My neighbour Chris (bless her heart - she looks after everyone who needs help) took me home from Strath Hospital. I was never in any actual pain.
The adjacent picture was taken 8 days after the accident and that was the first time I had any idea of how much I had mangled my leg.
More Adventures of Leicester Gruntfuttock in Blunderland next week.
("The Adventures of Lester Gruntfuttock in Blunderland" was the name of my very first blog back in the days of Oz-Email. No one else ever read that either.)
My neighbour Chris (bless her heart - she looks after everyone who needs help) took me home from Strath Hospital. I was never in any actual pain.
The adjacent picture was taken 8 days after the accident and that was the first time I had any idea of how much I had mangled my leg.
More Adventures of Leicester Gruntfuttock in Blunderland next week.
("The Adventures of Lester Gruntfuttock in Blunderland" was the name of my very first blog back in the days of Oz-Email. No one else ever read that either.)
